I don't know anywhere else to post what I'm feeling right now. Facebook is way to public. Everyone can see it. My sister follows me on tumblr so she'll probably see it. Twitter's fine, but the limit sucks. So here is the much safer way of blogging.

Not really harsh feelings. It's just that, I love my dad but there's this one thing I don't like about him.

This is not a fathers' day post or whatever. Well, I must get to the context of my blogspot url.

A while ago, my dad told my brother that he'll join the next race this weekend. I'm okay with my brother joining but my dad said that they are just three who'll join on my brother's division, Mini-ROK. So by three, whether he is slow or not, he'll still win a trophy. He did that on the race last april, he just showed up, joined the race, and he win 3rd place, since they are just 3 in the race.

Then, my dad on the otherhand, joined three classes (Novice, Veteran & Overall) on his division, SQ class. They are usually three at the Veterans class and if he do good, he'll prolly get podium place at Novice class also. So, he would still win at least one trophy.

I don't just feel like a loser on the track, also to my family too. I understand that i'm still new to this and still gaining experience, but I feel something else.

It's just unfair. I feel like a total loser. I was the only one who was supposed to join races at the first place. I feel like a loser that I'm the only one on my family who could not at least reach at least the 5th place to qualify for a podium place and get a trophy.

They just don't understand that their categories are just plain easy. Meanwhile, mine, on my division, Formula SL, we're about 18 racers in one race. Against champions and experts. And at least 20-25 laps per race.

One time, they want me hold their trophies and join the team's group picture with the winners. I refused to, because I only want to hold the trophy that I won fair and square. Not on by default.